Mega Marathon: Halloween

It was a dark and stormy night, but you can watch these without worrying about reception!

• Beverly Hills 90210, "Halloween"

Kelly's costume causes a stir, while Brandon goes trick-or-treating with Emily Valentine.

• Community, "Introduction to Statistics"

Annie wants Jeff to come to her extra-credit Day of the Dead party, but Jeff would rather crash the faculty Halloween party to pursue Prof. Slater.

• Daria, "The Lawndale File"

Conspiracy theories abound when some Lawndale citizens start acting strangely.

• Dinosaurs, "Little Boy Boo"

After Baby tricks Robbie, Robbie scares him with the story of how he became a "were-human."

• Family Guy, "Petergeist"

The Griffin house is haunted after Peter tries to build a backyard movie theatre on an ancient Indian burial ground.

• Futurama, "The Honking"

Bender goes to his uncle's funeral in Transylvania, where he is run over by a "were-car."

• King of the Hill, "Hill-o-ween"

Hank clashes with a fundamentalist Christian who wants to get Halloween cancelled.

• Moral Orel, "G-dfearing"

Orel thinks his only hope for a scary Halloween is to incur G-d's wrath, so he tries to break all Ten Commandments.

• Picket Fences, "Remembering Rosemary"

As Halloween approaches, Jimmy reopens a case after the victim's mute former maid says "murder."

• Simpsons, any "Treehouse of Horror" episode

You can't go wrong with any of them.  Well, maybe stick to I through IX.

• Sliders, "Into the Mystic"

The sliders go to a world where the occult is mainstream and there's a price on Quinn's brain.

• South Park, "Spookyfish"

Strange things are going on in South Park--Stan gets a homicidal goldfish, while an Evil Cartman appears who is nicer than the real one.

Rewind: The Dana Carvey Show

The growing availability of old TV shows through DVDs and streaming has allowed an unprecedented opportunity for us to indulge in nostalgia.  We start watching and suddenly a flood of memories come back with astonishing clarity, no matter how long ago we watched the original.  When I told my dad that Hulu now had the complete series of The Adventures of Robin Hood, which began in 1955, he sang the whole theme song.  If you mention Duck Tales to anyone who grew up in the 1980's, they will probably be pissed since the mere mention of the cartoon ensures the theme song will be stuck in their heads for days.  My generation on up benefited from VCRs, which allowed us to watch our favorite shows over and over again and memorize entire shows.  Sometimes I can tell exactly which episodes I had recorded on tape because when I watch them, I can recite the dialogue right along with the show.  This was the case with at least two episodes of a short-lived vehicle for a Saturday Night Live star.

Even though I was not old enough to watch it live, as a kid I loved the Wayne's World sketches on SNL.  Much of the jokes probably went over my head, but that didn't faze me.  (When Wayne said that a woman was so hot she could "give a dog a bone," I thought that meant the woman was very nice and always gave treats to puppies she met.)  I owned the Wayne's World book, now available used on Amazon for one cent.  Even today the movies remain my favorite comedies.  So in 5th grade, when I found out that Garth was getting his own TV show, it was PARTY TIME!  EXCELLENT!

The Dana Carvey Show is best viewed as a historical curiosity.  It was a sketch comedy show that lasted eight episodes, only seven of which aired.  It had a different sponsor every week, which it would mercilessly lampoon.  The eponymous star quickly faded, while the rest of the burgeoning cast and crew went on to much bigger and better things.  They included writers Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), Louis C. K., and Dino Stamatopoulos (Moral Orel, and currently appearing as Starburns on Community).  It's not even necessary to update you on how Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert are doing.

The show definitely had an impressive pedigree, but is it funny?  The parts that were REALLY funny stuck with me in a way that few other live-action comedy shows have.  This show is the reason that whenever anyone mentions Mountain Dew, I respond, "Mountain Dew--it looks EXACTLY like liquid sunshine."  It's the reason that when a high school acquaintance of mine submitted a pitch to Oprah's talk show contest an idea for a show that just about helping people "feel good again," I immediately thought of the Gentle News Network with the 11 O'Clock News That's Easy to Handle.  This was a sketch in which news anchors deliver news of the day in soothing voices, holding baby animals and reenacting video clips with kittens.

While nostalgia helps keep beloved childhood entertainment alive, it can also gloss over the parts that aren't as funny.  There were many funny moments on The Dana Carvey Show, but almost an equal number of misses as well.  Trying to revive the idea of a variety show, every episode started with a musical number about that week's sponsor.  The best of these were dancers dressed as the ingredients of Mountain Dew.  ("I'm gum arabic!  I'm Yellow 5!")  After that, Dana Carvey would spend time talking to the audience and answering their questions.  These segments hardly ever worked.  The mediocre sketches left me looking at the progress bar, waiting for the next segment.

At worst, the sketches are downright painful to get through, but this is through no fault of its own.  As a topical comedy show being viewed 15 years after the fact, the show suffers from what TVTropes.org calls "Funny Aneurysm Moments."  Those are moments that are funny on the original viewing, but become cringe-inducing on repeat viewings due to later developments on the show or real life events.  In the case of The Dana Carvey Show . . . I obviously wasn't aware at the time how Princess Di was viewed in the public eye before her death.  The first episode concludes with Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, reading a list of possible new titles for Di after her divorce from Prince Charles.  These included "Queen Orgasmia," "Slut Slut Slut," and "Princess Di-ing to Get Laid."  That's not even the worst of it--that title goes to an act-long sketch in which Carvey impersonates Charles, singing a song about how he wants to behead Di.  It ends with him using an axe to chop of the head of a Di dummy.  Less shocking but still creepy is a fake commercial for a bus company whose advertising strategy is to emphasize that if you travel by bus, you won't die in a plane crash.  Of course, that didn't stop me from singing the catchy theme-song hidden in my memory.  "Streyhound, don't fly!  Streyhound, don't die!"

All eight episodes of The Dana Carvey Show are available free on Hulu.  Honestly, you might be better off just watching clips, or fast-forwarding through large parts of the show.  Watching them has tempered my nostalgia for the show, but it did show that I had remembered the sketches that are worth remembering and that there can always be more chances for artists with real talent.

Mega Marathon: Tonight, on a Very Special Episode . . .

Parental guidance suggested.  Some mock, some play it painfully straight.

• American Dad, "The American Dad After School Special"

Steve starts dating an overweight girl, leading Stan's own weight issues to spiral out of control.

• Clone High, "ADD: The Last 'D' Is For Disorder"

The school is having its annual Awareness Fair, but the festivities are tainted when word gets out that Gandhi has ADD and everybody shuns him.  Will Abe turn his back on his best friend in his hour of need?

• Daria, "My Night at Daria's"

Daria and her boyfriend consider taking their relationship to "the next level."

• Dinosaurs, "Changing Nature"

It's the beginning of the end for the dinosaurs when WESAYSO Corporation builds a wax fruit factory on the mating grounds of a vine-eating beetle.

• Drawn Together, "A Very Special Drawn Together After School Special"

The housemates agree to role play so Xander can practice coming out to his parents, but things quickly devolve into an after school special (starring Meredith Baxter Birney).

• The Facts of Life, "Runaway"

Tootie is mad that the older girls won't include her on a trip to see a Broadway play.  But when Tootie follows them into the city, she gets a glimpse of the dark side of the city when she meets a teen prostitute.

• Family Guy, "Brian Wallows and Peter Swallows"

Brian bonds with an elderly singer during his court-ordered community service, while Peter takes care of baby birds that have taken residence in his beard.

• Flight of the Conchords, "Drive By"

Bret and Jemaine are shocked when a fruit vendor refuses to sell to them because they are New Zealanders.

• King of the Hill, "Leanne's Saga"

Luanne's mother is released from prison and moves in with the Hills.  She starts dating Bill, but quickly reverts to her drunken and abusive ways.

• South Park, "Kenny Dies"

Kenny is diagnosed with a fatal illness, leading Cartman to lobby for stem cell research.

Missed Connections: Thanks

I have a quirky habit of watching TV shows that make me angry.  That used to be fulfilled through 7th Heaven reruns, but with them no longer in syndication, that spot in my viewing schedule is now filled through 19 Kids and Counting on TLC.  This show centers around JimBob and Michelle Duggar and their 19 children. ("And yes, I delivered every one of them!" Michelle asserts, which makes it sound like she caught the babies instead of giving birth to them.)  They have been catching flack for saying they would "welcome" a 20th baby, even though #19 was born prematurely and is surely not through with her health problems yet.  They have been lampooned on many websites, including the dead-on parody, Kid Farm.

The issues I have with their lifestyle go much deeper.  They are connected with organizations like Vision Forum and ATI.  These groups go beyond fundamentalist Christianity--they ascribe to a rigidly patriarchal lifestyle and believe in Dominionism, the belief that Christians have a G-d-given right to rule over non-Christians.  Through increasing political power and increasing their numbers "the old fashioned way" (hence the anti-contraception stance), they hope to turn America into a theocracy where only Christian male heads of households vote, women remain in the home and perpetually pregnant, children learn everything through homeschooling and apprenticeships, and people can be executed for anything from homosexuality to taking G-d's name in vain.  The implications of the Duggars' belief system is frightening, and TLC hides it in favor of showing how they "do things just a little bit different."

They don't want to go back to the 1950's.  They want to go back to the 1650's.  This brings me to a short-lived TV show that I discovered completely by accident.

In August, the AV Club had a news story entitled, "NBC Developing New Pilgrim-based Workplace Sitcom."  The article explained that the sitcom was going to be about people working at a Plymouth Colony-type "living museum" akin to Colonial Williamsburg.  (Or, for Midwesterners from places where history doesn't go so far back, Old World Wisconsin or Naper Village.)  In the commentaries, several people were disappointed that the sitcom wasn't going to actually be about pilgrims.  Then someone responded that this has already been done, and it didn't go over well.

Thanks was about Pilgrims in Plymouth Colony trying to survive their first year.  It centered on shopkeeper James Winthrop (Tim Dutton) and his family, who were likely named after John Winthrop, the Puritan leader who said that the new colony should be like "a city on a hill."  The show premiered on CBS on August 2, 1999 and was promptly cancelled after six episodes.  The few viewers who were able to watch the show in its entirety remember it fondly, but the reviews were generally mixed.  One positive review is from Sarah Vowell, who wrote about the show for Salon.com and spoke about it on This American Life.

The show was a satire poking fun at the people who brought us things like the "Protestant work ethic" and our stringent morals.  Plots included one where the town elders decide whether to allow tobacco in the colony and another in which James shocks the town by building a private bedroom for Granny Winthrop (Cloris Leachman).  The style of dialogue could be a bit on-the-nose at times.  Take, for example, the episode where daughter Elizabeth goes to a dance and James explodes upon seeing her dancing with a handsome French fur trapper.  Elizabeth shoots back at her father, "You people are so judgmental!"  James responds, "Well, of course we are!  We're Puritans!"  That humor is a style I often like, at least on paper, which is the only way I can experience the dialogue for now.  For example, I like a line when Elizabeth persuades her family not to move back to England by imploring, "Think of all the times we've had here together as a family--building our own house, plowing our own fields, watching the misty sunrise over the verdant landscape of our new world."  Then there was the time that James tried to lift the town's spirits:


"I have decided in hopes if lifting the spirits of the community to hold a gathering in the shop tonight.  Everyone's invited.  There will be music and, well, not dancing, because that's a sin.  It will be a, well, not a party, because that would be wrong.  But I assure you we'll have lots of, well, not fun, because that's against everything we stand for."


I was sold on the show by that dialogue and wished I could see more, but by now it's pretty obvious why this was cancelled.  Smart satire is a tough sell on the average audience, and an even tougher sell in period costume.  Hollywood writer Ken Levine addressed this in a guest blog post written by Phoef Sutton, the producer of Thanks, on why period comedies are mostly doomed to fail. You are probably thinking, "What about Happy Days and Hogan's Heroes?  They were popular!"  They don't count because they were based in the recent past, and thus played on the audience's sense of nostalgia.

Sutton starts by giving a list of some historical sitcoms.  The longest running US one was F Troop, which managed to survive two seasons by entirely avoiding history.  Seriously, I remember seeing a clip where two cavalry men dress up as Sonny and Cher.  Others he mentioned were Mel Brooks' Robin Hood sitcom When Things Were Rotten (if you've seen Robin Hood: Men In Tights, you've seen the best material from the show) and The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (about a slave working in the White House for Abe Lincoln, which Spike Lee would later comment on in the form of the movie Bamboozled). He then goes on to talk about Thanks, the first problem of which was that anybody flipping past the show would assume it was a scene from a sketch comedy show.  The second problem was that a historical sitcom needs to take place in an era that resonates with the contemporary time period.  Sutton felt people could identify with a show about Puritans--in 1999, the nation still remembered the conservative finger-pointing of the Clinton sex scandal and George W. was gearing up for his 2000 election run with Jesus as his homeboy.  The country didn't think so and the show was promptly cancelled.

I'm sure the show would last about as long if it premiered today, and possibly last a shorter length of time.  It's a shame, because I think we need it now.  As Vowell said in her review, "I'm tempted to say that a satire on Puritan morality is entirely appropriate at this moment in American history. But a satire on Puritan morality is appropriate at every moment in American history."  Ten years later, we have large-family reality shows with covert Dominionist agendas and Glenn Beck rallies filled with Tea Partiers screaming that they "want their country back."  (As Bill Mahr says, I want my country forward!)  We have a growing number of people who think life will be better if we return to America's "roots."  More than ever, we need shows that are willing to examine the true extent of these beliefs.  Maybe we won't end up with ten-year-old girls being put in the stocks for suggesting that a dentist (gasp!) wash his hands because of "tiny creatures that might be living in people's mouths."  (The dentist's reply:  "Sounds like black magic to me!")  Still, an America where fundamentalist Christian church is synonymous with state, where freedoms of all kind are restricted, and where women are treated as property is not an America I want to live in--and if people knew what it would REALLY be like, I'd doubt anybody else would want to live there either.

Mega Marathon: Parodies

Loving homage or a sign of desperation--you decide.

• American Dad, "Tearjerker"

In this James Bond parody, Stan must stop the diabolical Tearjerker (Roger) from releasing a movie so sad, viewers will cry themselves to death.

• Clone High, "Raisin the Stakes: A Psychedelic Rock Opera in Three Acts"

The clones go on a mind-bending, musical journey when a mysterious drug pusher convinces them that they can get high by smoking raisins.

• Daria, "Murder, She Snored"

Daria dreams that Kevin has been murdered, and everyone is a suspect.

• Drawn Together, "A Very Special Drawn Together After School Special"

The housemates agree to role play so Xander can practice coming out to his parents, but things quickly devolve into an after school special (starring Meredith Baxter Birney).

• Family Guy, "Blue Harvest"

The Family Guy characters act out Star Wars.  Not much more to elaborate.

• Futurama, "Where No Fan Has Gone Before"

The Planet Express crew must save the Star Trek original series actors from an all-powerful fan.

• The Simpsons, "Cape Feare"

Bart finds himself stalked by Sideshow Bob, who has just been released from prison.

• South Park, "Fantastic Easter Special"

Stan finds out his father is part of a secret society charged with remembering the connection between Easter and bunnies, which is a serious threat to the Catholic Church.

Study Abroad: Srugim Episodes 1-5

I'm one-third of the way through Srugim's first season and definitely hooked.  Let me introduce you to the swinging singles:

• Yifat (Yael Sharoni):  A graphic artist who is perpetually unlucky in love.
• Hodaya (Tali Sharon):  Yifat's roommate, a Rebbe's daughter who rebels by wearing jeans and attending Hebrew University.
• Reut (Sharon Fauster):  Yifat and Hodaya's friend, a strong-willed accountant.
• Nati (Ohad Knoller):  A snarky but charming doctor at Hadassah Hospital who frequently mooches off of Yifat and Hodaya's refrigerator and washing machine.
• Amir (Amos Tamam):  Nati's shy roommate, a recently divorced grammar teacher at a girl's school.

The actors seem to be a mix of newcomers and notables.  This show is Sharon Fauster's only credit on imdb.com, but Tali Sharon was featured on the show "In Therapy," which was later remade in the US as "In Treatment."  I had seen Ohad Knoller in two classic Israeli LGBT movies, The Bubble and Yossi & Jagger.  (Israel had Brokeback Mountain beat by almost a decade.)  Needless to say, Knoller's prior acting credits caused me to have presumptions about his character that were proven false . . .

All of the characters are in their late 20's and have a near obsession with getting married.  Episodes are filled with speed-dating and fix-ups.  The hope of marriage informs their actions ways that are comically obvious.  In one episode that veers into zany sitcom territory, Amir finds out that his school only employs married men, so he ropes Reut into acting as his wife at a work party.  The desire for marriage can also form a quiet backdrop to even the smallest actions.  Reut's old wooden bed is breaking nightly, but she refuses to buy a new one.  When Amir asks why, she reveals that she got her old bed when she was 16 and vowed she would never buy another bed until she got married.  She is afraid that if she got a comfy new twin bed, then she would become too complacent with being single and not work hard enough to get married.  Reut's struggle is particularly poignant considering where she starts in the first episode.  After her boyfriend of five months both announces his promotion at work and proposes to her in one breath, she concludes that he didn't want to get married until he made more money than her and she dumps him.  For her own happiness, she needs to be with someone who understands and respects her.  (It was for the best.  As she walks to Yifat and Hodaya's apartment for Shabbat dinner with a covered dish in hand, she runs into her ex-boyfriend who sneers, "You are going to be carrying kugels to Shabbat dinners for a long time.")

Reut's story represents the stories of many people who are part of the growing population of Modern Orthodox singles.  Young religious Jews are no longer content to have matchmakers set them up as early as possible.  They not only want autonomy in marriage partners, but a chance to find themselves first.  As a natural consequence, they become pickier and the marriage date recedes further into the distance.  Show creator Laizey Shapiro said that part of his inspiration behind the series is to dispel the notion that the intensely pro-family religious Jewish population has no singles.  The stories of these characters can be so true to life that some Modern Orthodox youth find the show too painful to watch.  The characters are caught between the traditional desire for marriage and the contemporary desire to forge their own separate identities.

Another battlefront between tradition and modernity is in religious practice.  Judaism focuses on outward signs of practice and surprisingly little on actual belief.  The idea behind this is that action influences belief, but the characters often have a disconnect between what they do and what they believe.  Yifat tries to ask a man for a date, but the man says it wouldn't work out because he's "not religious."  Sure, he wears a kippah, separates milk and meat, and observes Shabbat, but he has non-religious excuses for all of these things.  He also implies that he is not religious "when it comes to dating," (as in, he is willing to have pre-marital sex.)  The outward markers of religious practice don't match how he feels inside.  In contrast, Hodaya wears pants and attends a secular university.  (Speaking of which, I love seeing my old stomping grounds at Hebrew U.)  She fancies herself as a rebel, but her rebelliousness only goes so far.  When she starts dating Avri, a non-religious archaeology professor, she balks when he takes her on a Friday night movie date.  Later, she panics when he not only makes her spaghetti Bolognese (read: meat sauce), he also grates Parmesan cheese on her dish after she tells him not to.  These incidents are enough to make her want to break up with him, convinced that the gulf is too great for their relationship to work out.

Of course, there are still standard romantic plots.  They are usually described as "will they or won't they?"  In this case, it's describing dating and marriage instead of sex.  Yifat pines for Nati, who wavers between just not getting it and not being interested.  When she sends in an entry to a newspaper column where people write thinly-veiled poetry about their love lives, Nati reads Yifat's entry (written under a pseudonym) about a prince who kisses many frogs without seeing his true princess in front of him, he declares "That guy is a jerk!" without realizing he is describing himself.  Later, he makes a date through a dating website--then bolts when he finds out that his Perach (flower) is actually Yifat.  On the other front is the chemistry between Amir and Reut.  She was just too darned good playing his wife at the party for there not to be something between them.

At this early stage, the show is already a winner.  The actors are so natural and it has the right balance between humor and drama.  Z and I really appreciate the extra dimension that our knowledge of Judaism brings, but it makes me wonder how much someone without that knowledge would enjoy the show.  We crack up whenever a cell phone rings on Shabbat, and we screamed "NO!" when Avri grated the parmesan cheese on the meaty spaghetti.  I can't see others having that reaction.  Srugim is popular among secular Israelis, but a secular Israeli is much more versed in Jewish practice than your average secular Jew or non-Jewish person anywhere else.  Still, its insightful look at a specific culture and its take on universal themes are enough to make it worth a try for anybody.

Mega Marathon: Back to School

Study these episodes thoroughly.  There will be a pop quiz later.

• Clone High, "Sleep of Faith: La Rue D'Awakening"

It's almost time to take the PXJT standardized test, but Abe has an addiction--to staying awake.  Meanwhile, Ghandi decides to give up school to be a truck driver.

• Daria, "Lucky Strike"

During a teachers strike, Daria is recruited to be a substitute teacher for Quinn's English class.

• The Facts of Life, "IQ"

Tootie accidentally finds out everybody's IQ scores, and the results are not what anybody expected.

• Family Guy, "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High"

Brian is hired as a teacher to a class of underprivileged troublemakers.  Chris is seduced by his teacher, who tries to convince him to kill her husband.

• Futurama, "Mars University"

Fry enrolls at Mars University, where he must room with the professor's latest experiment--an artificially intelligent monkey.  Meanwhile, Bender tries to liven up his old fraternity.

• King of the Hill, "No Bobby Left Behind"

Principal Moss tries to raise the school's scores on the No Child Left Behind exam by placing Bobby and other low-performing students in special education.

• Moral Orel, "G-d's Blunders"

Orel tutors a friend who has been diagnosed as "religiously challenged."

• The Simpsons, "Bart Gets an F"

Bart calls on a higher power when he finds out he must pass his next history test or repeat the 4th grade.

• South Park, "4th Grade"

The boys don't like the changes a new grade brings, so they try to find a way to go back in time.